Changing the Culture

Investing in your own wellness positively impacts the whole student body.

Let’s take some time to think about your role as a member of this community in changing the culture; specifically relating to stress glorification and alcohol use.  First let's discuss stress glorification.

What is Stress Glorification?

For the next few minutes, we will continue the conversation by discussing how we can interrupt unhealthy behavior in our culture. At William & Mary you might hear messages that compete with or totally disregard your individual wellness, but those are myths.  Stress glorification is the competitive and comparative value placed on how much one is suffering.  You might feel this creeping into your life when you fall into a false trap of equating your worth with how stressed you are.  This badge of honor around excessive stress has negative implications on our internal environment as well as our external reputation.  It’s especially easy to get caught up in this glorification in an academically rigorous institution like ours but we want to succeed and flourish during our time here so  it is important we talk about interrupting the stress glorification culture.

Let's first talk about ways we can actively interrupt stress glorification:

• Try to let go of perfectionism
• Carve out time to do nothing
• Intentionally be less busy (can you set a limit to how many organizations you join? Or how many extracurricular activities you participate in? Or decrease your leadership roles?)
• Learn to say no! Identify what really matters to you and what doesn't!
• Resist the urge to compare how long you studied, what your GPA is, or how little sleep you got with your peers as a bonding experience
• When your peer groups step into a conversation that perpetuates stress glorification culture try stating how you are doing things differently. For example, “Wow, you must be so tired! I quit studying at 10 last night, read my novel for a little while, and then passed out.  I needed to rest my brain and catalog everything I learned with a good night’s sleep.”

Considering Alcohol

Upon your arrival, you were required to complete a module about alcohol so you can have a basic understanding of the topic. Whether you drink or have chosen to delay drinking, alcohol is a part of many individuals’ college experience. If you choose to drink, we want you to make an informed decision that aligns with your values and be able to live with the consequences. While you are likely aware that drinking alcohol under the age of 21 is a violation of the law, it is also a violation of university policy.

While alcohol may not seem like a prominent part of the W&M experience, sometimes you may find yourself in a position where you either want to drink out of curiosity or you are in a setting where alcohol is present. You may even find yourself experiencing invisible peer pressure or choosing to drink as a reward after you have worked hard and/or need the tension release after a stress filled week. These times will be opportunities to approach the situation with a Wellness Mindset. Ask yourself, does this align with my values? Is this really what I want to do? What is my rationale for drinking? Whatever answer you land on, are you aware of the consequences and would you be willing to deal with them?

If you do not drink and have no plans of doing so, this is still pertinent for you. What will you do if your roommate consumes, or your friends? Will you forgo going out if alcohol is present potentially hindering your social wellness? Do you recognize the signs of alcohol poisoning, just in case your roommate experiences an overdose.  

Whether you drink or choose to delay drinking, we would like for you to have a basic understanding of alcohol and be able to make an informed decision and live with the consequences of your choices.

What are some ways we can approach alcohol use?

• Choose to delay drinking until 21
• If you choose to consume alcohol or are 21:
  • Create a plan (where will you go, with whom, for how long, how will you travel)
  • If you know your limit, stick to it
  • If you do not know your limit, space your drinks out by an hour and half
  • Learn to say no when participating does not align with your values
  • Eat before and while drinking
  • Know the signs of an alcohol overdose
• If your peer group participates in a conversation that perpetuates alcohol misuse, try stating how you are doing things differently.
  • You could say:
    • “I’m not drinking until I am 21."
    • "I don't need alcohol to have fun."
    • "I have witnessed how alcohol affects people, and I am not interested."
  • Another option is to educate:
    • “Drinking in excess is never a good idea, as doing so often opens you up to unwanted problems."
    • "If I drink tonight, a lot of what I have learned will not be processed from short-term to long-term memory while I sleep. When you sleep, the brain catalogues everything you learned during the day. I worked too hard today to lose all that information.”

• Let’s spend some time talking through different scenarios: divide participants into groups to review one scenario each.  Have participants discuss the scenario and then determine two different ways they could interrupt the stress glorification happening in the scenario.   Each group should report back by reading their scenario and then sharing two interruption ideas. If time does not permit, choose one of each scenario (one stress glorification, one alcohol related) to complete as a group.

Scenario Practice

scenarios

Scenario 1  You’re chatting with your friend about spring break plans while walking to Sadler for lunch. You express excitement about spending your break reading a novel you’ve had your eye on and hanging out watching a streaming series on the couch at home. Your friend replies by listing off their “resume” of extracurricular achievements of the semester and expresses, in great detail, how stressed they are about everything they have to do over spring break to catch up with their leadership positions. What is your response?

Scenario 2 You overhear a pair of friends chatting on the way into SWEM.  The first student says, “This is my sixth cup of coffee this afternoon.  I’ll need three more to make it through this exam review.” The friend replies, “Dude, at least you haven’t cried yet today.  I’ve cried three times over this paper since I woke up.  I still have 9 pages to write!” What is your response?

Scenario 3 ALCOHOL: You have a friend who is really obsessive about grades. You knew they were worried about a test, so you text them to ask how it went. They text back, “It went okay...I got an 87%.” You reply, “That’s actually really good, looks like your studying paid off!” They quickly respond, “I could have done better, but I'm not going to worry about it, I'm going out tonight and blowing off some steam. I deserve it." What is your response?

Scenario 4 ALCOHOL: It is your first month at the school, you haven't made any friends yet, and your roommate wants to go out to drink. You would love to go out, but you know your roommate and others plan to get drunk. When you were first asked to go, you said you would think about it. Today is the day.  What will you do when the time comes to decide? Your roommate says, “Come on, it will be fun, I really want you to go. I don’t want to go by myself.” They give you a compelling look and state, “Whenever you are ready to go, we will leave, I promise.” What is your response?

Scenario 5 SELF-CARE While adjusting to your new courseload, you realize you have not played your guitar in weeks. You miss playing but feel like all you can think about is studying lately and it’s starting to stress you out. What are some ways to balance time for you to play the guitar again. What is your approach?

Thank you for taking time to practice the language and actions required to dismantle the stress glorification culture and how you might approach alcohol use.

When we attend to our wellness and work to eradicate stress glorification and the misuse of alcohol, we become more resilient against unhealthy coping patterns like excessive drinking and drug use. Practicing self-care every day attunes us to our individual needs and allows us to be intentional about our choices and behaviors. Attending to your self-care is a step toward better community care. It improves your capacity to connect with others in safe and healthy ways.

If you find yourself struggling to cope, take some time to check out our Self-Care Over Soothing resource. SOS is for anyone looking for healthy ways to manage stress, cope with the vicissitude of life, or decrease/eliminate substance use. For context, soothing is any behavior motivated by the desire to temporarily feel better, while self-care is any behavior in which the intention is to be healthier.

Remember that wellness journeys look different for everyone.  Rather than comparing your practice to a roommate, classmate, or friend, take time to reflect inward and determine what practices or behaviors will support your academic efforts.  The Health & Wellness team is ready to support your wellness in whatever way suits you.  When you have time, check out the services and experiences available to you by downloading the W&M Wellness App. Explore the app and start your wellness journey now and whatever you do, "Do It for the Well of It".

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